Huffing and Puffing for Pastry

Okay, so I, Danielle, may not be the son of a son of a sailor, but I am the daughter of a daughter of a pie crust snob. In other words, we DO NOT BUY crust. We may have driven an ugly orange Buick and worn hand-me-down jeans...but darn it, our pie crust was homemade. I used to laugh at my mother, who upon tasting a pie with “purchased” crust, would slightly turn up her nose, a bit of judgment registering on her face. But now, shamefully, I find myself doing the very same thing. It’s not intentional; more of an involuntary response. If you show up at my house with a pumpkin pie purchased from Ralph’s, you might as well punch me in the face. I am a Crustzilla, and if that’s jerky, then so be it. I accept my fate.

Last Saturday morning, I had Erin over and decided to 'throw together' a Tomato and Goat Cheese Tart from one of our fave blogs, Fresh365, and the recipe calls for puff pastry; a patisserie I had yet to undertake. Most people buy their pastry and if you’re sane, you will too. I, on the other hand, am bananas, so I tube’d "How to make puff pastry" and found this video from Mrs. Glaze and Chez Tse. I watched it, which would soon prove pointless, as Tarts do not retain info. And as luck would have it, the ingredients were listed in European measurements (I had yet to find this awesome website that converts it for you), but I was not to be deterred and despite butter that was too soft and poking through my dough, I somehow fashioned this.


Now the crust wasn’t flawless, but Erin didn't care. I couldn't quite deduce what she was saying through heaps of tart, but I think it was something like “Holy crap! OMG. OMG.” This is a truly ridonculous recipe and rates very high on the Tart Chart. Thanks Fresh365! We heart you!

Whew! So the first attempt at puff pastry was a minor success, but it unfortunately gave us Tarts a hankering for more. After slamming it down our throats, Erin looked at me with crazy eyes and said, “Wanna make some more?!” I looked outside, at the beautiful California weather begging us to throw down our rolling pins and soak up some rays, then pathetically replied "Let's puff some pastry!"

We opted for a Peach Tart Tatin using our previous pastry recipe but followed this one for the peach part, substituting agave nectar for corn syrup, b/c the thought of c.s. makes us barf. We set to rolling again, this time with very cold butter which made a huge difference. I had a bit of trouble keeping the pastry mat still, so I improvised...


A Tart will do what a Tart’s gotta do!

Even if she’s not happy about it...


Note to Tarts: More strength training.

Yet the sore biceps were worth it when we cut the dough in half and saw this...


What, what???!!! You can see the layers of dough and butter!!! Isn't that amazing???!!! Anyone? Bueller? Fine. Whatever. It doesn't matter because I dropped it while putting it in the oven and it morphed into this...


Ahhhhhhhh!!!! I must say, I lost it and screamed for a few minutes. But never fear when another Tart is near. Erin, God bless her, reminded me we had enough leftover dough to go it again...

Ta-dah!


Yumtacular. Too bad we can't eat it. I mean, we already ate a whole tart. That would be gross, right? Erin? Erin?! Step away from the tart!!!!